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How To Love A



For People Who Want to Become Less "Ist"

The ists are many: racist, sexist, heterosexist, classist, ableist. I could go on, and they each have their unique flavor of failure in loving human beings. But, they aren’t as different as we make them out to be. 

Human AF.

Learning to love humans is an emotionally taxing endeavor. Why, because humans are messy, flawed, confusing, vulnerable, and risky. Humans are not fantasies, figments of our idealistic imagination. What happens when we’re “ist” is that we pretend some humans are worse than others, messier, more terrible. We pretend some humans are better than others, more loveable, worthy. And at a certain point, it doesn’t even feel like we’re pretending. We’ve gotten so used to seeing some humans as better than others, and we probably spend a lot of time with other humans who believe the same thing, that we begin to believe what we’ve been pretending is true. And the world we live in works in not so subtle ways to confirm that some people are more human than others, making it easier to believe we’re not pretending. If it’s true, all the inhumane things we think, say, or do aren’t really that bad…right?


Well, this project is for people who are tired of pretending.


This project is for humans who want to learn how to love other humans who are different from them, in race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability status, religion, ethnicity, nationality, language, weight, education, and the host of other ways we can be different. This project is for humans who know that they may have both some privileged identities and some marginalized ones mixed in together. I know I do. And what you do with the privileged ones matters a lot to other humans who don’t have that, because with privilege comes power. This project is for humans who want to use their privilege and power to love other humans. This project shows you how to become less “ist,” over time, with effort, with care, with love.

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Talking with humans to break down the many "ists" so that folks who are courageous and willing can learn how to love a human.

My approach

This is a live research and relationships project, meaning the research process will unfold on this website. I'm using constructivist grounded theory to design and analyze the dialogues I have with the humans featured on this podcast. I'm choosing a dialogue, rather than an interview approach, because I want to emphasize the relational aspect of this project. I'm choosing to make the dialogues (data) audible to interested listeners to offer another way to relate to the humans sharing their stories.

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